I picked it up. I held it. I threw it away. I strayed.
By far one of the dumbest things I've done to myself.
No embracement
of the truth, it's gone.
Progress unwound. Ideals shut down.
Pin it on me. Take me away.
I'm guilty as charged. You can call
out.
This is my forceful vice struggling to gain some life.
Sometimes when you live with something for so long you can't break
it,
can't put it down, can't walk away.
Beauty in my mind defined by images shot into my mind.
Brain scan. Observe the man I
am.
Look at my hands. I'm trembling at the mistakes I live.
One day I'm awake. The next day I'm dead.
This is not real. This I
know.
But it calls on me. How does this work?
It's so f*****g twisted. It takes me away.
It sweeps me off my feet. I know how
this goes.
I've dealt with this before. Day one, liquify my life.
Take my insides out. Hang them on a wall.
The beauty.
Self-security works itself into a hole.
But I can feel the cold from here.
And I know it's cold.
Blisters ravaged my life.
The
life that I claimed back.
Turned it around.