**Due to the unorthadox nature of the song and the non-reliance on guitar/chords, this
is giving me trouble. I am not used to writing tabs, but I am posting what I have so far
hopes that someone will see this incomplete version and assist me with finishing it. If you
can help, my email is (stigmakiller[at]hotmail.com).
Here is what I have so far. Obviously I am not looking for ratings because it is unfinished.**
Artist: PANIC! AT THE DISCO
Song Title: "There's A Good Reason These Tables are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't
Of It Yet"
Album: A Fever You Can't Sweat Out
STANDARD TUNING: EADGBE
[X] = Open Chord 
* = unfinished section
Update: On the suggestion of a comment, I have changed the notes to sharps. Sounds more
but I will continue my work on this tab until it is a good version for acoustic guitar.
Please leave all overcoats, canes and tophats
with the doorman. From that moment
you'll be by yourself and underdressed.
I'm wrecking this evening already and
loving every minute of it.
C# B# B
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring end.
When you're in black slacks with accentuating off-white
C# C# B# A
pinstripes, whoa-oh. Everything goes
B G# F# D#
A - cord - ing - to - plan.
I'm the new cancer, never looked better
you can't stand it.
And you say so under your breath
you're reading lips "when did he get all confident?"
*Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
*I've never looked better and you can't stand it.
Transition: B# B# B#-B#-B-B-[X]
*Next is a trip to the- the ladies' room in vain and,
*I bet you just can't keep up with, with fashionistas and
*Tonight, tonight, you are, you are a whispering campaign
*I bet to them your name is cheap, I bet to them you look like shhh...
Talk to the mirror. Oh, choke back tears!
And keep tellin' yourself that:
*"I'm a diva."
Oh and the smokes in that cigarette box
on the table they just so happened to be
B# B B# B# B# [X] B
laced with ni - tro - gly - ce - rin
[Repeat: "I'm the new cancer"]
[BRIDGE] (slow strum)
D# C# F# B#
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer
B# B D#
I've never looked better and you can't stand it.
And i know, and i know, it just doesn't feel like
a night out with no one sizing you up.
I've never been so surreptitious so of course
I'll be distracted when I spike the punch.
I love the song and wish I could play it all. My email is at the top if you have corrections
or can help me finish the chords. Credit for tablature goes to Andrew McLaughlin, and of
credit for the song goes to Panic! At The Disco. Thanks.